PHI 17, WAS 23


Alright, so I’m about to show my true “Philly Fan” colors and turn on my team. After the way the game started, I cannot believe what I’m seeing. Its’ the 2-minute warning right now and I’m turning off the TV.

How the hell did we go up 14-0 at home after not allowing 1 touchdown at the Lincoln all season, and end up losing 23-17? Well, let’s dissect:

  • David Akers – Second week in a row, dude. That’s three FG’s you’ve missed, man. I’m waaaay over you. If I played fantasy football, you’d be on a very real bench.

  • Passing game – No really… where WAS it? If you can’t run the ball, throw it. Seems like a pretty obvious adjustment. And when Donovan did put the ball right in the receivers’ hands, they couldn’t hold on to it. You gotta make those… But hey what do I know? I’m just a girl who likes to look at boys in tight pants.

  • Running game – I do not understand how in back to back games, we (the supposedly 6th-best offense in the league) have repeatedly failed to score from less than 4 yards out. I’m sick.

  • Defense – We didn’t look like one of the top 10 defenses in the league. Period.

Exhale… It was good to see DeSean Jackson protect the ball this week. Beautiful punt return. He’s made some rookie mistakes but dude is the truth! It was awesome to see #36 over the ankle injury, looking agile as ever. And it’s great to finally see a healthy McNabb. Yeah, we were missing Shawn Andrews… But this week. Honestly. I have no excuses. We laid down. I’m pissed.

I have tickets to see the Eagles play the Falcons in a few weeks, but I have no idea what type of fan I will be by October 26th. Will I be the supportive die-hard fan I’ve always been? Or will I have morphed into the volatile kind of rabble rouser that would have ended up in the old Veterans Stadium jail?

Only time will tell.

I bought this Mitchell & Ness throwback a couple months ago.


HOT, huh? I couldn’t wait for it to get chilly so I could wear it around town and taunt all the Skins fans I’m forced to interact with on a daily basis. But now I don’t have the guts. Damn you Eagles.

Record: 2-3

Chattin’ about my worst day ever on my very best day ever

So maybe it’s a little extreme to say that Monday was my ‘very best day ever.’ I mean my wedding day and the birth of my first and third children should probably be at the top of my ‘very-best-day-ever-ometer…’

Wait… What’s that? I’m single and childless? You are so right…

Monday WAS my very best day ever ever! Here’s the part of the interview where I tell Ellen about my worst show ever. Feel free to laugh at my pain.

Damn, I don’t know this song either

So I wasn’t working this past weekend and got a chance to be “normal” ;) and hang with some of my friends. Hooray! On Friday nite, me and my friend Kellz went out to a club. I put on a dress and heels and we got to the club before it was real packed and set up shop on the first floor by the bar.


The music was great. They were playing a lot of old school hip hop and R&B, some Chaka — a little Tribe. We were having a great time. We even spotted an S-Curl and I made Kellz pretend I was taking a picture of her so old boy wouldn’t know we were clowning him…

Big fun.


After about an hour, we went upstairs to the second level. And as we were standing on the outskirts of the dance floor watching folks get their dance on, I slowly began to realize that I didn’t know any of the music the DJ was playing. You know that “Awwwwww, s—! That’s my joint / Woooooo!” sound that happens right after the DJ plays the first few notes of a club banger??? Well I heard it repeatedly. I saw the hands go up in the air. But I didn’t recognize any of the songs.

How the hell did this happen?

I consciously stopped listening to urban contemporary radio stations several years ago — not because I don’t like hip hop — but because I *do.* And what passes for hip hop and R&B on the radio these days sickens me. I prefer to read reviews and forums, find artists that I like and buy/download their music myself. But even so, the ignorance that floods the airwaves has always found a way to somehow seep into my consciousness. Thru commercials or MTV or something… Last Friday however, I literally knew none of the songs that were played in like a 20-minute period.

What are you supposed to do in a situation like that? Should you just throw your hands up in the air when everyone else does and pretend like you like the raggedy-ass ‘music’ that’s playing (as one friend suggested)? Or do you just acknowledge the fact that you’re over it and look for a comfy seat?

I opted for option #2.

Overall I enjoyed myself that nite but I spent the last half hour we were there texting a friend of mine who was being equally lame at another club.

My how times change… Continue reading →

Priority Shift

So I just got back from a great week at the Funnybone in Virginia Beach. I did a little shopping, a little relaxing, worked with great people in a great room, and the check cleared. You can’t ask for much more.

Also while I was down there, I re-evaluated and re-ordered the must-have characteristics I need in a potential mate.

Here’s the background: Thursday nite after the show I went back to the comics’ condo, which is a very neat, very clean garden style unit. But because it’s a garden apartment, the front door opens right to the outside. I put the key in the door and then realized that there was a huge flying/hopping ‘croach’ thingy (wasn’t sure if it was a cricket or a roach) on the door. I totally freaked because I am paralyzed by bugs. Anyone who knows me well already marvels at how I was able to live in that little basement apartment in the hood for 8 years.

Tylenol PM and Benadryl is how. You’re not worried about croaches when you see unicorns…. But I digress.

I literally was so tired and buzzed all I wanted was to crawl in the bed. But I was frozen. I called the headliner who is a friend of mine and was like, “Could you stay on the phone with me until this croach dies?” He humored me for about three minutes. We talked about how if hell was a personal hell customized for each of us what would be in each of ours… And we determined that mine would be full of croaches and other pests, octopus/pi or anything else with tentacles, that scene from the Matrix when they put that tracker thing into Neo’s belly would be playing on an eternal loop … and there would be black olives everywhere … I HATE black olives.

After he wished me well and got off the phone I still couldn’t go in. It wasn’t a matter of just opening and closing the door really quickly… because I didn’t know if it was a cricket or a roach. How fast was it? That’s need-to-know info. Because where it was positioned on the door if I opened the door it was literally going to BE inside… What to do?

So I called my buddy Dawan. He’ll humor me I thought… Plus he’s in LA so its not so late. He talked me thru it. Told me to break off a piece of the crepe myrtle outside and brush it off the door. But just as I pulled the branch, he was like, “Make sure there’s no bugs on the branch.” I threw it and screamed. I hadn’t thought of that…

Eventually he convinced me to pick up the branch and brush the croach off the door. I did it and I exhaled… but then it ran back to the door at lightning speed.

Roach for sure.

Finally after a while I was so delirious, I just held my breath and chanced it. I got in, shut the door behind me and stood still for like 10 seconds to make sure it didn’t make it in. I was safe.

It wasn’t til then that D laughed at me and said how rich we would be if I had been recording the incident. We’d be Youtube stars. He’s a good friend. The best… But it got me to thinking… ‘Croach killer’ was not on my list of must-haves in a man. Stability, trustworthiness, great sense of humor… All those things are great. But no matter how much I love you, we can’t both be standing on the sofa scared of a damn spider… I need to add it to my list and move it towards the top.

So thanks Virginia Beach for the much-needed priority shift, and the new bit ;)