Come the hell on.
I mean, I know it’s my fault for being up watching TV at 5 a.m. but really, come the hell on. Watching CNN to keep up with what’s going on with the stimulus package vote–and this damn commercial comes on. I HAD to go to the site…
Barack-in-the-box... This is just too far.
I am now adding this to the list of things I’d like to UNsee… I refuse to post on the Barack sex toy someone sent me a link to. That is just plain disrespectful.
Exhale.
OK so we all know how I heart Jerry Seinfeld…
I had an experience in a doctor’s office yesterday that reminded me of his ‘Doctors’ bit. So I thought I’d post this cute little video and a photo of me waiting ;) You’re welcome. Tee hee ;) I just don’t get why we have to put on the robe to wait. If I already gotta sit there for 35-40 minutes, why do I have to have my ass out?
Ahhhh, one of life’s seminal questions…
The waiting game...
And here’s Jerry’s take on doctors. If you’ve never seen this bit, enjoy. And if you know it… sing along! ;)
Have a great day, y’all
I know we buried the “N” word last year.
But it’s time to dig it up. Because there’s no other word fit to describe the people behind this container of ‘BlackQuick‘. No matter what race the person was, that would still be the most appropriate word.
I hate EVERYTHING about this
Is it possible to UN-see something you’ve already seen?
Damn you, ‘English’ and whoever gave you the materials for your art project.
This is the Watergate Building. Period.
I hate how whenever there is a scandal in this country we affix “GATE” to the end of it. I mean, clearly this stems from the Watergate scandal. But the Watergate is an actual building. It was the site of the criminal activities. ‘Gate’ itself is not a suffix that means scandal. [Scream] I can’t even pretend I haven’t been sucked in… Reading thru the post I wrote yesterday I used the term CRACK-gate to refer to Marion Barry’s arrest after that 1990 sting operation… So yes, I understand that this post is pretty damn hypocritical. But it still burns me whenever I hear it. It burns me more that I actually used it myself, but I’m not so hypocritical as to delete it from the other post. Doesn’t that count for sumthin’?
There’s an entire Wikipedia page dedicated to scandals ending in ‘gate’. Who started this? I bet it’s the same idiot who decided that we should just add “PALOOZA” at the end of anything we wanted to describe as ‘big’ or ‘fun’.
I hate “PALOOZA” too. Blog to come.
Could you please just go back to the sequined jackets?
Unacceptable
There’s a young guy who I’m ‘friends’ with on MySpace who sent me this photo that he doctored up of me in Photoshop. He said it was “Me… as Beyonce.” This was, how shall I say it… a non-commissioned work (or is it uncommissioned?) Either way, I didn’t ask for it, and I had no idea it was coming. So imagine my surprise when it arrived in my inbox…
Ummm... Thanks?
What up with the ocean/sky backround? Am I on a cruise? … Also I’m not sure why my lips are so black in the corner, and why he added makeup, and whose necklace that is, and how by adding a brown wig to my headshot, he managed to make me look like a drag queen… To borrow from Robert Downey Jr.’s Oscar-nominated performance in Tropic Thunder: “I look like a dude playing a chick playing… a crackhead?
It’s hilarious to look at, but not for the reasons he intended I’m sure. Unless he hates me. But the worst part is that this is what he thinks Beyonce looks like. With that wig and that flower, I’m looking way more Neicy Nash ;)
never thought I'd have the need to use this photo ever again
I feel the need to include the original headshot in this post so you all can at least see what it really looks like. But what I need from y’all is for you to tell me (1) this photo looks nothing like the original — BECAUSE IT DOESN’T … Right? (2) a little outrage would be nice, and (3) a few “Wow E, that’s a really cute photo”s would be a nice touch too.
Got it? OK then, here goes…
I spoke with a lady yesterday who was looking to book me for a private event. She asked me tons of questions. Some she asked more than once. It was like that scene in “Menace to Society” when Bill Duke was trying to trip up Caine during the police interrogation…“You bought the bottle of beer at…” But the thing that really blew me was when she asked me if I “pick on Jews in my act?”
She didn’t think my response was funny. But I was truly offended and trying my best to make light of it. What, in any of the tape on my site, on Youtube, or in my press kit would cause her to ask if I was anti-semitic? Is there some great animus between 30-year old Black women and Jews that I’m just not plugged into? I grew up in Jersey. I heart Jewish people. They gave us bagels with cream cheese and lox, and Barbara Streisand and Jerry Seinfeld… and two days off of school in the fall for Lord knows what…
Maybe it’s the fact that stand-up is such a personal thing that I feel like someone’s opinion of my comedy is inextricably linked to their opinion of me as a person… but it pains me to have to ‘sell’ my act. For me, it’s like trying to convince someone that I’m a good person. And I don’t feel like I should have to do that for anyone. At all. Ever.
My attitude about booking private shows is always — watch all the clips on my site or in my media packet. If you like that, multiply it by 40 minutes and that’s what you’re gonna get. I dunno. I’m just venting. Probably something I need to learn to let slide.
Out.
I have a show tomorrow at the University of Maine. It is going to be 4 degrees.