Let’s Go Knicks

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Last night, I went to the Knicks/Wizards game at The Garden with my boy T.O.N.Y. He’s a Knicks superfan even though he lives in DC and has season tickets to the Wizards. It was my first time at a game in the Garden since middle school and the first game since Derek Fisher’s firing, so it felt kinda like Christmas. My teams are 2-for-2 on firing crappy coaches this year and I’m all about it. During one of the commercial breaks the people with the t-shirt cannons came out and started shooting them into the stands and people in the crowd lost their s***. I’m always amazed by how crazed people become over the high-velocity propulsion of shitty, free t-shirts towards their faces. The video below is me saying as much.

Not 20 minutes later, as if on cue, I caught a t-shirt with my jaw. I secured it with my right hand as it hit me so it didn’t go tumbling into the next row… It was like the David Tyree helmet catch and OBJ’s one-handed grab had an awesome catch baby. I don’t think that last sentence makes any sense, but I’m not deleting it. I’m sure that at some point in my life I’ve laughed harder, and for longer; I just can’t remember when. #TITF But not really.

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I joked with T.O.N.Y. about how mad I would be—I would have demanded to see someone in management—if I got smacked in the face and wound up with a small or medium t-shirt. But, alas, it was an XL. They didn’t want it with Hov.

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Russell Wilson and Ciara’s weave (pictured above) were at the game, They were sitting down on the floor next to Lala Anthony. I know Lala and Ciara are good friends because I may or may not really like her reality show, but I was having a hard time picturing Melo and Russ hanging out. They just don’t seem like they’d have a lot in common besides the professional athlete thing. I would love to be a fly on the wall at one of their double dates.

But I digress.

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The Knicks have been on a terrible losing streak and though they came close, they did not break it last nite. They missed a 3 at the buzzer that would have sent the game into OT. But it was not meant to be. I’m looking forward to the team improving under new/old coach Kurt Rambis and hopefully snagging a higher profile coach in the offseason. We’re not a good team, but we’re not terrible either. And it’s been a long time since I felt that way. Anyway, I need to be packing a bag right now. The road is calling.

Beginnings

Dr. Kia!!!

Dr. Kia!!!

Today is a huge day for two of my most favoritest friends!!! One graduated with her PhD in Clinical Psychology from American University, while the other is giving birth to her first baby. Weeeeeeeee!!! I’m grateful to have been able to watch the live stream of one event, happy to wait for the “after” photos of the other. If there’s any question about which event I tuned in to see, just know that even BFFs need boundaries. Anyway, I’m super proud of both my girls! I can’t even fathom the amount of work and dedication required to complete a PhD. I am vaguely familiar with the background work required for the latter…

Love you both so, so much. You’re gonna be amazing at your new jobs!

New Year, Same Old Love

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In case you were wondering, me and Santa Boo are still together. Solid as a rock. This year we decided to try something a little different for our photo. We’d never done a standing photo so we gave it a try. What do you think? I think we’re super cute! We took our pic in the same mall as 2013, Buckland Hills Mall in Manchester, CT. I had a show at the Funny Bone located in the mall and bae really wanted to come, but he wanted to change out of his work clothes first and there just wasn’t time. I told him to just come and not worry but he told me he didn’t want to steal my shine.

He so sweet. That’s why I love he.

Happy Holidays, yall!

No, thank you!

During my time here in Israel, I’ve been most touched by how appreciative the audiences have been. We have a Q&A with them after each show, and each night they thank us profusely and ask if we were hesitant to accept the gig because of safety concerns. I can honestly say that I had zero reservations about this trip. As Kermet joked, “Maybe that means I’m dumb…”  But I saw it as the opportunity of a lifetime– a chance to visit places I’ve been hearing and reading about my whole life.

I got a free trip to Israel! What are you thanking me for?

Avi and Bob with an Israeli soldier in Gush Etzion

Avi and Bob with an Israeli soldier in Gush Etzion

On Saturday night, we had a show in Gush Etzion, which is a group of Jewish settlements in the West Bank. “Across the Green Line,” the area is protected by Israeli security forces and has been targeted by terrorists numerous times in the past year (in the last week, even). We had to go through a border checkpoint to get there, and there were soldiers stationed on the streets. We pulled over to the side of the road on our way to the show so Avi and Bob could do a quick promo video, and I remember looking out of the van window and feeling very anxious—not because I felt that there was any imminent danger, but because seeing those soldiers (who were 100% there to protect us and anyone else in the settlements) with their automatic weapons reminded me that, while I may be on the greatest work-cation ever, life often feels like anything but that for the people who live here. Up until that point, it was easy to just enjoy the beautiful beaches, the great food and the amazing historical sites and push to the back of my mind the very real threats that people in this region face on a daily basis. I really began to understand why the audiences were so grateful for our visit. These were people who’ve been directly affected by terrorism, and our willingness to go there and perform was a thumb of the nose middle finger to the perpetrators of that violence. Bringing them a little laughter, while helping to raise money to support their families and communities is probably the most fulfilling work I’ve ever done. I’ve had some top-ten life moments here and I’ve seen so very little of the Israel that we’re shown in on the “news” in America. I will forever be an ambassador for the country and its people.

Me with Kandi and Marc

Me with Kandi and Marc

In addition to the comics I worked with on the shows, I met a wonderful Tel Aviv comic named Kandi Abelson and her husband Marc. They were so lovely to me, inviting me to their home to hang out and drink up some of Marc’s amazing Scotch and (Kandi) taking me shopping for a flat iron and other clothes and souvenirs. My indecisiveness is legendary and you handled It so well, Kandi! It was such a pleasure meeting you both! I hope we get to see each other again before long.

 

Finally, Jerusalem!

The Comedy for Koby crew with the amazing Yael

The Comedy for Koby crew with the amazing Yael

I’ve been looking forward to our day in Jerusalem all week and yesterday was “the day!” We arrived in the morning and met up with our fabulous tour guide, Yael. She is like the Beatles of tour guides in Jerusalem–a guru even. She knows everyone and has access to just about everything. We started in the Old City and she gave us a history of the conflicts and rebuilding of the city. She showed us the Temple Mount, the Mount of Olives, the Garden of Gethsemane, King David’s Tomb, the room where The Last Supper is believed to have happened. She took us to The Western Wall and I wrote a prayer and placed it in one of the cracks…

In real life, I did that.

The Western (Wailing) Wall

The Western (Wailing) Wall

Western Wall sellfie

Western Wall sellfie

We shopped in the Arab market, and walked along the Via Dolorosa on our way to see the place where Jesus was crucified and laid to rest. I went inside Jesus’ tomb. And just because I feel like I need to type that again: I went inside Jesus’ tomb.

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It was unbelievable and overwhelming and, honestly, not at what I expected. I’m embarrassed to admit that, although I’d heard of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, I didn’t realize the actual holy sepulchre and crucifixion site (Calvary/Golgotha), would be inside the church structure. I had always imagined I’d be outside on a hill peering into a cave of sorts. But as our tour guide Zev explained to us earlier in the week, many churches, such as this one and the Church of Multiplication of Loaves and Fishes, were built on sites where miracles are said to have occurred or on sacred areas to commemorate holy events and bring worshippers closer to God.

Oh yeah, so we saw all that and did two shows in Jerusalem last night! The crowds were great—and thank goodness—because we were all exhausted from touring all day. Without their energy, I never would have made it. Exhale. I never imagined I’d do and see the things I’ve done and seen this week; a trip like this was so far out of my realm of possibility and budget… And I get to be here all because of the silly thoughts in my head. How amazing is that? I’m working on a video that I can hopefully share soon. But RIGHT right now, I’m ’bout to lie down and kick it with this pillow.

Holler at y’all tomorrow!