Databasing

Donald Trump’s ascendance in the polls puzzled me. His continued domination terrifies me. This is certainly not the first time I’ve disagreed fundamentally with a political candidate, but it is the first time I’ve thought anyone this (blatantly) vile, with absolutely no political philosophy or knowledge about how government works, had a chance to win the White House. Trump has broken every rule of campaigning—of civility even. And his calls for a ban on Muslims entering the US and a registry of Muslims currently living here are in direct violation of (The First Amendment to) the United States Constitution, the most important set of “rules” in our nation.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…

Many posit that Trump doesn’t actually want to be president, that he continues to ratchet up his rhetoric in hopes of “going too far,” losing support and being ousted by the GOP. I wish I believed that. Better, I wish I believed that lack of true desire to become president would stop this megalomaniac from trying to “win.” And even if this is his strategy, it’s backfiring. The more hate he spews, the more media coverage he gets, the more supporters he gains… Rabid, xenophobic (read:racist), dangerous supporters, unabashedly cheering his vitriol and fanning the flames of his narcissism. I want to create a registry of people who cosign his hateful ideas. Think there should be a Muslim database? Aiight, but I’ma need your name and address for a little project I’m working on. I deserve to know if I’m living near one of these bammas, Am I working with one? Let’s get an app up, some interactive maps… Where dey at doe?

As we’re still more than a month out from the Iowa Caucus, it remains to be seen whether his poll numbers will translate into primary victories. But if the idea of a Trump presidency doesn’t frighten you, you frighten me. If it does and you’re not registered to vote, get registered or go screw yourself. And if you’re not for Trump and you’re already on the voter rolls, you period must period vote period. Period. And if he doesn’t win the nomination don’t just go, “Whew!” and stay home on election day. The dude on deck behind him (Cruz) is no less dangerous; he’d be the Trump if Trump weren’t in the race.

This is real life, y’all. Act like it.

Beginnings

Dr. Kia!!!

Dr. Kia!!!

Today is a huge day for two of my most favoritest friends!!! One graduated with her PhD in Clinical Psychology from American University, while the other is giving birth to her first baby. Weeeeeeeee!!! I’m grateful to have been able to watch the live stream of one event, happy to wait for the “after” photos of the other. If there’s any question about which event I tuned in to see, just know that even BFFs need boundaries. Anyway, I’m super proud of both my girls! I can’t even fathom the amount of work and dedication required to complete a PhD. I am vaguely familiar with the background work required for the latter…

Love you both so, so much. You’re gonna be amazing at your new jobs!

New Year, Same Old Love

Santa_2015
In case you were wondering, me and Santa Boo are still together. Solid as a rock. This year we decided to try something a little different for our photo. We’d never done a standing photo so we gave it a try. What do you think? I think we’re super cute! We took our pic in the same mall as 2013, Buckland Hills Mall in Manchester, CT. I had a show at the Funny Bone located in the mall and bae really wanted to come, but he wanted to change out of his work clothes first and there just wasn’t time. I told him to just come and not worry but he told me he didn’t want to steal my shine.

He so sweet. That’s why I love he.

Happy Holidays, yall!

Trip of a Lifetime

ComedyForKobyCrew

Had the most amazing time with these folks the past week and a half. Huge thanks to Seth and Sherri Mandell, tour organizer and host Avi Liberman, the fabulous PR team of Dena and Jeremy Wimpfheimer and our incomparable tour guide and driver, Zev for inviting me out and treating me (us) so well! I learned and saw so much. It was truly the #tripofalifetime.

 

 

No, thank you!

During my time here in Israel, I’ve been most touched by how appreciative the audiences have been. We have a Q&A with them after each show, and each night they thank us profusely and ask if we were hesitant to accept the gig because of safety concerns. I can honestly say that I had zero reservations about this trip. As Kermet joked, “Maybe that means I’m dumb…”  But I saw it as the opportunity of a lifetime– a chance to visit places I’ve been hearing and reading about my whole life.

I got a free trip to Israel! What are you thanking me for?

Avi and Bob with an Israeli soldier in Gush Etzion

Avi and Bob with an Israeli soldier in Gush Etzion

On Saturday night, we had a show in Gush Etzion, which is a group of Jewish settlements in the West Bank. “Across the Green Line,” the area is protected by Israeli security forces and has been targeted by terrorists numerous times in the past year (in the last week, even). We had to go through a border checkpoint to get there, and there were soldiers stationed on the streets. We pulled over to the side of the road on our way to the show so Avi and Bob could do a quick promo video, and I remember looking out of the van window and feeling very anxious—not because I felt that there was any imminent danger, but because seeing those soldiers (who were 100% there to protect us and anyone else in the settlements) with their automatic weapons reminded me that, while I may be on the greatest work-cation ever, life often feels like anything but that for the people who live here. Up until that point, it was easy to just enjoy the beautiful beaches, the great food and the amazing historical sites and push to the back of my mind the very real threats that people in this region face on a daily basis. I really began to understand why the audiences were so grateful for our visit. These were people who’ve been directly affected by terrorism, and our willingness to go there and perform was a thumb of the nose middle finger to the perpetrators of that violence. Bringing them a little laughter, while helping to raise money to support their families and communities is probably the most fulfilling work I’ve ever done. I’ve had some top-ten life moments here and I’ve seen so very little of the Israel that we’re shown in on the “news” in America. I will forever be an ambassador for the country and its people.

Me with Kandi and Marc

Me with Kandi and Marc

In addition to the comics I worked with on the shows, I met a wonderful Tel Aviv comic named Kandi Abelson and her husband Marc. They were so lovely to me, inviting me to their home to hang out and drink up some of Marc’s amazing Scotch and (Kandi) taking me shopping for a flat iron and other clothes and souvenirs. My indecisiveness is legendary and you handled It so well, Kandi! It was such a pleasure meeting you both! I hope we get to see each other again before long.

 

Finally, Jerusalem!

The Comedy for Koby crew with the amazing Yael

The Comedy for Koby crew with the amazing Yael

I’ve been looking forward to our day in Jerusalem all week and yesterday was “the day!” We arrived in the morning and met up with our fabulous tour guide, Yael. She is like the Beatles of tour guides in Jerusalem–a guru even. She knows everyone and has access to just about everything. We started in the Old City and she gave us a history of the conflicts and rebuilding of the city. She showed us the Temple Mount, the Mount of Olives, the Garden of Gethsemane, King David’s Tomb, the room where The Last Supper is believed to have happened. She took us to The Western Wall and I wrote a prayer and placed it in one of the cracks…

In real life, I did that.

The Western (Wailing) Wall

The Western (Wailing) Wall

Western Wall sellfie

Western Wall sellfie

We shopped in the Arab market, and walked along the Via Dolorosa on our way to see the place where Jesus was crucified and laid to rest. I went inside Jesus’ tomb. And just because I feel like I need to type that again: I went inside Jesus’ tomb.

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It was unbelievable and overwhelming and, honestly, not at what I expected. I’m embarrassed to admit that, although I’d heard of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, I didn’t realize the actual holy sepulchre and crucifixion site (Calvary/Golgotha), would be inside the church structure. I had always imagined I’d be outside on a hill peering into a cave of sorts. But as our tour guide Zev explained to us earlier in the week, many churches, such as this one and the Church of Multiplication of Loaves and Fishes, were built on sites where miracles are said to have occurred or on sacred areas to commemorate holy events and bring worshippers closer to God.

Oh yeah, so we saw all that and did two shows in Jerusalem last night! The crowds were great—and thank goodness—because we were all exhausted from touring all day. Without their energy, I never would have made it. Exhale. I never imagined I’d do and see the things I’ve done and seen this week; a trip like this was so far out of my realm of possibility and budget… And I get to be here all because of the silly thoughts in my head. How amazing is that? I’m working on a video that I can hopefully share soon. But RIGHT right now, I’m ’bout to lie down and kick it with this pillow.

Holler at y’all tomorrow!