I hope you don’t make it to the future / T-shirt Promo — Take 2

The video above is the bit that the t-shirts I sell after my shows are based on. Some people hate them and think they’re mean. But most people think they’re awesome — especially teachers. It AMAZES me how many teachers come up to me to tell me they’re teachers before they purchase one (or more). They always tell me they can’t wait til the weekend to wear it. I always imagine them running into their students and/or their parents at the grocery store.

It makes me happy.

Either way I know there are a lot of folks out there who share my sentiment. Maybe they wouldn’t say it so directly or in public, but I see y’all out there. It’s in the eyes. I know my Dad would/will die when he sees this clip (LANGUAGE!!!) Ha ha. But there’s no other way to tell that second story.

And it’s a story that must be told.

If you’re offended by this, I’m sorry you have no sense of humor. But if you’re not offended and want your own shirt, check out the merchandise page on my site and cop yourself one. It will make you happy too.

Vegan soul food makes my soul cry

I’m out here in LA for a few days and today I met up with my girl, the HILARIOUS, international comedy rock star, Gina Yashere. She suggested we go to lunch at this vegan soul food restaurant she likes.

Vegan. Soul. Food.

If ever there were three words that made me wanna burst into tears… But I’m always open for new things so of course I said let’s go! I ordered the soul food plate with spicy fried ‘chicken’, yams, collard greens, corn, and macaroni and ‘cheese’. I started with the ‘chicken’ because I was the most curious about it. It was breaded and conical, and the consistency was very un-chicken like, but the taste wasn’t that far off. What bothered me was the short wooden stick coming out of the base of my ‘drumstick’. “Ummmmm… what is this, G?” “It’s the ‘bone.’”


In case you’re wondering, that was my spirit sobbing. The yams and the greens were fantastic! The mac and cheese wasn’t half bad. And there was cornbread too. But the ‘chicken’ is what I cannot get over… was like the culinary version of a Designer Imposters Body Spray.

I would like to improve my diet, and clearly vegans are living a much healthier lifestyle than I am, but if this is the kind of stuff you start eating when you move to Hollywood, then I think I’m cool on LA for now.

California, casinos and biological clocks

photo by Joey Fink

I’m in Temecula, California right now working at The Comedy Club at Pechanga with my good buddy Vince Morris and the very funny Keith Bender. I hadn’t worked with Vince in over a year so we had a ball, plus we had great shows all week! The club was in a casino and I was super proud of myself for pretending that wasn’t the case. I’m a sucker for roulette and dollar slots. I’ve been doing a lot more material lately on my tragic relationship history and it’s been going over pretty well. The stuff about my mom pressuring me to have kids seems to resonate with a lot of folks — so much so that after our last show of the week, a woman came up to me to talk to me about my biological clock:

LADY: You need to hurry up and have a baby.
MY EYES: You need to hurry up and pay for this t-shirt.

Then she told me how old she was when she had her kid, and that I still had a couple years… EXHALE. I guess it’s nice that people identify with the act and feel comfortable enough with me after a show to come up and talk about my life. But I had just finished talking about how badly I hate it when my mom gets on me about the babies, so why would this woman I didn’t know think I wanted to hear it from her? Sheesh, I sure hope I have more than a couple years left, because at this point I have no idea where a baby would fit.

Maybe in my carry-on?

CALI… great place to visit!

Sooooo… I’m making my [not so] triumphant return to [the] LA [area]!!!

This Wednesday thru Saturday, July 14-17 I’m going to be performing with my good friend Vince Morris at The Comedy Club at Pechanga at the Pechanga Casino and Resort. I haven’t been to LA since 2008 so I’m really looking forward to it! After the shows I plan on spending a few days in LA just to catch up with friends. If you’re in the area and can make it down I GUARANTEE that you will love this show from top to bottom.

Hope some of you can make it out!

Lenny Kravitz Swoon x 2

Earlier today on my Facebook page I posted this video:

“With my head held handsome” is probably my favorite line in this sketch. Hilarious every single time I watch it — not to mention all the yummy eye candy. Lenny Kravitz especially! In addition to being talented and gorgeous, he’s hilarious in this too. ;) Well, in the comments under the video my friend Jessica told me about a video she had just seen of Lenny Kravitz crashing a choir concert in Louisiana, so I Googled and found it. And it’s probably the coolest thing I’ve seen a celebrity do in a really, really long time.

He made those kids’ day! And you could tell it was completely spontaneous. He was super humble and seemed to be appreciative of them for playing his music. I love to see folks who’ve made it big but are still just normal.

This made my day too.