Am I funny in the Midwest?

That’s the question I was asking myself all week. Now that I’m starting to book more shows outside of the east coast I’ve been curious as to how my people in different regions of the country will respond to my comedy. Everyone in the business tells you that to hone your skills, “you gotta work the road” but like most things that’s a catch-22… How do I set myself up to be able to work the road without the flexibility of being a full-time comic and vice versa?

To that end, I went to Columbus, Ohio on Tuesday to showcase for a booker there. Good buddy Vince Morris was in town with his touring partners from the SELLOUT tour and he ended up hosting the show, so it made me a little less nervous. I went up second and the crowd was great. There was this one lady in the front row that I would actually pay if she would come to every show I did from now ’til forever. She had the most awesome laugh… Anyway, there were three other comics showcasing as well and we really had a great time. Everyone did great. Check out Lamar Williams, Jesse Joyce and Josh Alton when you have the chance… Three stand-up guys… ha ha ha… get it? I think that you do… Well, I passed the audition, which is great, so that’s one more chain of clubs down and Lord-knows-how-many to go. After we left the club, a bunch of us went and bumrushed a show at Ohio State — I’m sorry — THE Ohio State University. We had a ball.  It was an awesome 19 hours all in all, but it did start my mind a-spinnin’.

So it’s my birthday, right…

And while I am grateful to have made it thru another year, I always dread this day because I know that inevitably there will be a disaster of some sort. Today started off great. My parents drove up to take me out to a very nice lunch and I almost fooled myself into believing that this was the birthday that was going to break the curse… But after being out all afternoon, I needed to use the restroom. We were almost back at my house, so I thought everything was cool. But when we got home, my mom went into the bathroom first. No problem, I can wait… WELL, while she was in there she apparently locked the door for some reason and then pulled it tight behind her… So now I can’t get into the bathroom. 7 years I’ve lived in the same apartment, I have NEVER locked myself out of the bathroom. My dad tells me to go get my tool box — which incidentally is a ZIPLOCK bag with a hammer and three rusty screwdrivers in it — and after about 20 minutes of fiddling with it (we took the doorknob off, etc.) we realize that we’re gonna have to call a locksmith to get into the bathroom.

So now I’m like OK… this is my birthday disaster. I can deal with this. So while we’re waiting for the locksmith, I go into the kitchen to finish off my birthday cake from lunch and I notice some water dripping from the ceiling. I run upstairs to my neighbor and find out that her washing machine is leaking into my cabinets… FABULOUS… The after-hours maintenance guy from my apartment complex basically insinuates that it’s my fault that my neighbor’s washing machine is leaking. “Did you tell her to turn the washing machine off?” he asks… Really? Is that how you’re going to solve this problem, cuz I didn’t think of that one. I told her to just finish her “whites” and we’ll worry about my groceries later…. PUHLEEEZ. Then we (and by “we” I mean my mom) ended up having to pay $85 for a locksmith to let me into my bathroom so I could do what you do in a bathroom… I’ll tell you what. This rivals the $85 I spent on that cheeseburger on the Jersey Turnpike (see earlier entry) and the infamous “Spider/broken glasses/ripped contact lens/overflowing toilet story” that many of you know so well. It just keeps on getting better.

Happy Birthday to me.

Missed connections

OK, so a girl I work with just turned me on to the “Missed Connections” section of Craigslist. How have I gone this long without knowing about this? Someone, please explain. In case you didn’t know about it either, “Missed Connections” is a section of the site where people can post messages for people they saw in passing that they thought were interesting or really hot – but didn’t get the chance to speak to – in hopes that that person is a pathetic loser too — Ooops, did I say that?

Anyway, this guy she saw on the train posted a missed connection for her and she saw it. Now they’re in love. Well, not really… Anywhoo, at first I thought it was really lame that people actually check this thing regularly hoping that someone is secretly longing for them, but then I realized that for a single homebody like me, this is the perfect way to find a date. I mean, maybe the poster isn’t looking for me per se, but if I have some similar characteristics to the person they are looking for, I figure it can’t hurt to reply, right?
Poster: Cute Blonde at Krispy Kreme in Dupont:
You were gorgeous. You asked if I was in line… You were wearing a black coat, had short blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail. Your emerald green eyes and your lips were stunning. Care to do lunch sometime?
Me: Hmmm, I’m kinda cute… I have lips… AND eyes. They’re not green, I’m not blonde and I’ve never been to that Krispy Kreme, but I do have a black coat. I should write him back. Maybe he just got that other stuff wrong… I love lunch.

Yay Cragslist!

K Street

Being that I’m a huge news junkie and a former CNN employee, I was super excited when I ran into James Carville on K street this morning on my way to the bank. We talked for a long time… He caught me up on all the Hill gossip and told me about some of the dirty little tricks the Democrats have up their sleeves for ’08, and I clued him in on what was going on in the DC Comedy scene and who does the best Clinton and Bush impressions. We laughed and laughed and laughed. A good time was had by all…

OK, maybe that didn’t happen, but I didn’t really have a whole lot to say about this and I wanted to beef up this entry.

I met James Carville today.




I’m sure some of you have seen these two cutie pies on TV — the fraternal twin girls who were born to two bi-racial British parents — only one of them got all the White genes and the other got all the Black genes… They are ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS but they are going to have some ISH-OOOZ… I mean despite all the “progress” that’s been made, these little girls will likely spend their entire lives dealing first-hand with the harsh realities of bigotry and racism and racial perception… Lucky for them their parents had the smarts to dress them in matching sundresses (see 2/17 entry). Maybe now no one will notice…

I love you too Danny

Fellow comedian and good buddy Danny Rouhier made some very complimentary remarks about me in his blog. I was thinking about putting a link to it in this post, but then I thought, that would just be vain… I’m not really sure if this is a reciprocal kind of compliment, but Danny, most of your jokes could be done by both men and women too… I should know ’cause I did a couple of your bits the other nite and C-R-U-S-H-E-D!!! Tee hee hee…

Tonite I judged and did a set at one of the DC Improv-sponsored “District’s Funniest College Competition” prelims at George Mason University. The show was in the atrium of their student center — which sounded like it was gonna be a disaster, but actually was quite awesome! This is the second competition in the series that I’ve performed/judged at, and I continue to be impressed by the students who come out to do comedy for the first time in front of like 300 people… and not just any 300 people, 300 college kids!!! When I was in school I was still daydreaming about becoming a comic. And some of these guys and gals were really, really funny. I love performing for college crowds. The stage at Mason was huge! I felt like a rock star. I was almost tempted to play air guitar during one of the laugh breaks… but then I thought better of it. Kudos to everyone who’s participated and supported these shows so far and a big “YAY!” to Allyson Jaffe from the Improv for putting these shows together.